This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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