kristin has been a bad kristin
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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