oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
