i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
