I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
