if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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