The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
