Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
