so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
