Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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