So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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