never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Bring me that man meat
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
