Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
