I think I died a long time ago.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
