Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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