wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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