Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
