its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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