Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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