Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize