I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
