Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
