Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
