real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
