Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
