I must be too annoying 4 u.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
