so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
