Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
