So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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