He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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