dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
