Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I love having hate sex.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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