we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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