i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
