he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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