she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
