yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
