My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
