I just saw a hot homeless man
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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