We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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