if i died would you start the facebook group?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
