I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
