she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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