Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize