Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
