booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
