went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
