I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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