take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
