he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
