I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
