Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
