Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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