I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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