Say something about gay babies.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
