i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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