i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Four minutes until I can fart!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize