her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
