i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
