listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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