I heard we made out
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
