I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
