I wish I only lived at night.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
