thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
